8. BEING A ROLE MODEL

 8. BEING A ROLE MODEL

(To influence others around, in a positive manner through a worthy life)

1. Right Words and Actions

Not just wishing but doing:      

Most of the time when we see a person without food or clothing, we sympathize and wish them they shall have it, but don’t think much to act upon it, though we can act out something. We should act out something to the issues around us and something that bothers us, to really show our concern about it. Also sometimes empathizing and acting upon certain things, builds confidence and trust and many of the people will find a good rest when we are approached.

Wishing without actions is dead:

We always wish everyone from very simple things to extraordinary achievements and successes in their life. Also, there are times we wish for their well-being at the time of their difficulties and adversities. Though we don’t act towards something at times of joy, it doesn’t make a difference as the other person could sustain without our action. But it makes a lot of difference when we act towards certain things at the time of sorrow and it gives confidence for the other person to renew the self and chase the worthy things with values. 

Avoiding the deviation:

Surely there will be circumstances that are beyond our control and unexpected things tend to happen, that make to deviate from the actual plan and process. A wise man who is endued with knowledge of higher standards will avoid the sensual and devilish things and show good conduct of his works in meekness, at any point of life. A good leader should not be carried away by the circumstances and the situation of life, but always have control over life or just avoid certain things that could not be influenced by acting appropriately.

Being careful with the tongue:

A tongue is a very small part of the body, but it can change the world upside down through manipulated or deceptive words. Out of the same mouth comes blessing and cursing, but people tend to remember the cursing we spell more than the blessings. We should be very careful with the words we speak, as the words that are spoken in a genuine sense can be manipulated for something different by interpreting in the way the other person wants. Also, words that degrade or embarrass another person directly or indirectly should be avoided. Taming of the tongue is very much needed for being a good role model.

Activity: Situation and Roleplay

All the participants may form a group of 5-8 members with some grouping activity. Every group should think of a situation that involves someone talking or behaving too harshly and another situation where someone talks and behaves nicely with others. They shall act out the two situations for the other groups. The other groups shall observe how it makes a difference in feelings and thoughts, after observing the two situations carefully.

2. Right Attitude and Values

Taming of the Heart:

We all have our emotions out of which different feelings arise. Many things influence the way we share our emotions with others. Every one of us needs to mold our hearts to express the right feelings at the right time in the right way. We need to put compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience in our hearts for forbearing and forgiving one another. We have to shape our hearts even to forgive those who had done wrong for us, to live in peace and joy within ourselves and with others.

Putting on the bond of perfection: 

There are certainly many qualities that make us very special and good. But all the quality could be made void or manipulated either by being Rigid or liberal. Extremism or Liberalism without the balance of the heart and mind could be destructive. Having the greatest factor, which is love, in the greatest place in our thoughts and feelings, will always help us have a balance in everything that we have and do. We must practice genuine love that is without expectations and conditions.

The dwelling of higher values in mind:

It is very important to carefully think through the different things we practice doing and the way we do things. We need to check everything and recheck even the things we do regularly because it might contradict the values, we talk about having in our life. The higher values of life should dwell richly in all the wisdom and all areas of our life. It should be taught to others and everyone should admonish others, for helping one another to become better.

Looking into others' interest:

No one in the world is void, and everyone has something unique for themselves. We should always be humble whatever best we have or hold, irrespective of our previous or present state. We should always consider the interests of others by denying the self at times. We should do things without grumbling and disputing, for being blameless and harmless.

3. Demonstration and not just delegation

Actions that please others:

Sometimes we talk a lot and even give counsel to the people around us, but we fail to keep up our words and we do what we should not do. Mostly people watch over our actions more than words, and when there is a big deviation in our words and actions, they will not trust and be pleased to listen or approach us. We should be patient towards others and be the source of encouragement for others. We should also bear the iniquities of the weak and try to please others through good deeds, as well as accept our limitations.

Receiving others despite limitations:

It’s very difficult to tolerate the mistakes of others, especially when there is a disaster or disturbance towards something we do. Also, there are people less capable of things because of their less exposure, experience, or disturbed situations in life. We need to analyze the attitude of the person and always be receiving even those who are not good at anything or have deformation in their attitude, to help them to be useful and joyful.

Forbearance and Patience in Action:

There are certainly, all human beings have the emotions of anger and bitterness when certain things are not likely or with some deviation or not in the way we expected them to be. But when we start to stand in another person’s shoes and understand the inner thoughts and feelings of the other person, by knowing and comparing with the higher values and truth, we will be able to show forbearance and extreme patience, even to the one who even insults and abuses us to the point of death.

Forgiveness and acceptance without hatred: 

A leader should be firm with the standards and principles that are according to the higher values of life, for not being harmful to anyone or anything knowingly. At the same time, a great leader will always forgive the mistake of even an enemy and accept even those who persecute, without hatred though they continue to do it, just because he's wishing for the welfare of them and hoping for a positive change in their lives.

Activity: Following the Leader’s Instructions

All the participants may form a group of 5-8 members with some grouping activity. Every group should select a leader among themselves. One of the group volunteers. Except leader, everyone should be blindfolded. The leader should give instructions to make the members stand in a position to demonstrate some picture or situation. The members should follow the instructions of the leader carefully. All the members should take a role and even the leader must take a role finally. The other groups should identify the picture or situation.

4. Wiping out Selfishness

Different Gifts and Talents:

Everyone has some gift that they already have or have not yet identified and used. Also, all of us have some talents though we might not be experts in it, but able to contribute to someone in some way. A good leader identifies the gifts and talents of everyone around him and tries to provide appropriate opportunities for each one of them who approaches him. Also, gifts and talents are not just meant to please the self but are utilized for the good and welfare of others.

The greater sense of working together:

There is certainly more responsibility and a sense of belonging when we take over certain work by ourselves and try to complete it. But there would be a much greater accomplishment and effectiveness as well as sustainability when many of us work together by understanding the importance of teamwork. When we do things by ourselves, we are improving ourselves but when we involve others, we improve ourselves as well as build others, and there is a greater sense of it.

Everything passes and Love never fails:

It is always difficult to be in a group, as we need to follow some standard set of procedures and have some common policies, to avoid some conflicts. Even if we have well-organized and systematic policies or procedures, different people perceive differently according to their own situations and backgrounds, as human beings don’t just think but also feel. Though, everything that is formed before and every priority changes, the factor of Love alone could reconcile and reunite by fixing everything.

Being profitable by using what is needed:

Most of the time consciously or unconsciously we try to use what we have, without thinking much about what is really needed and whether we can fulfill the need by ourselves or need the support of someone else. Also, there would be certain people who are much more talented in something, but the situation may need something else, but still, the person wants to exalt the self and do something of his expertise. A good leader would not be interested in showing what he knows but gives his best in doing what is needed.

5. Leaving the Legacy

Finding the genuine favor:

When we walk upright and follow the right instructions, there will be genuine favor in the eyes of genuine people, though there may be also certain people who are jealous. A good leader has certain principles and a code of conduct that would not be stolen by anyone through anything. They would be good role models for standing for what is right. Though some may persecute them, and there are sufferings, they take a stand to follow the truth, thereby they find a genuine favor in the eyes of closely associated people, even from the people who persecute them at times.

Withdraw from disorderliness:

Certain practices or procedures have become law, just because most of them choose them. We should never be carried away from being part of the most, but by being part of what is acceptable and what is correct. We should always analyze whether the things we do or follow are right or something that deviates from disorderliness. A good leader would never be carried away by what the majority of the people follow, do, and say, but always strive to do what is pleasing and good.

Being an example to follow:

Many people are role models for many other people in the world. The way we do things and the way we talk influence others positively or negatively. When we are a role model to someone, it is not just the good things that are caught by them, but also what is wrong with us. Similarly, when we take someone as a role model, we try to rationalize even the bad practices as good. It is very difficult for us to be a good example for others to follow and also it is very difficult to find a good example. A good leader tries to safeguard himself from what is wrong and tells his crew what is best, rather than saying to follow him.

Be not weary in doing good:

It is easy to do some good when we are well-settled and really don’t strive for anything. But a good leader will try to do his best, and even if he is not able to do anything he will certainly do something by even identifying someone capable of supporting him. Sometimes it would be demotivating to do some good when some people do not take the things that are done for them seriously and just blame what is done. But a leader is assured that many people including those who demotivate need the good at some point in time, though they don’t know the importance of it at that moment.

Be wise and approachable to all men:

A good leader is someone who is imitated, someone who is admired, someone who inspires, and someone whose footsteps are followed. Because of their popularity and fame among the people, some people hate them too, as their shortcuts or unfair acts will not be supported by a good leader. Those people will always want the leader to fall into something, for them to blame or accuse. Also, a good leader will be simple and humble towards everyone to approaches, as he considers everyone with equal respect and has a hope that they would do great things if opportunities are provided.

Activity: Self-Reflection

Role Model:

Did (s)he do any good to you?

Did (s)he is the best person?

Did (s)he is a good person without any limitations?

Did (s)he have some skills that are impressive and important for you?

Did (s)he contribute something positive to society?

 

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